There was a post I was going to post and was really excited about posting.
My computer shut down and I forgot what it was about and now it is gone forever.
Then I had another idea.
But my computer shut down and it was gone forever.
So I wrote it again.
Then again.
Then again.
Because my computer kept shutting down and making it gone forever.
Then in an attempt to not lose hope and write about the same topic yet again,
I realized it was stupid.
So, since I am subscribed to you (among very few), or you are subscribed to me, or we have a beautiful symbiotic subscription relationship, let's get to know each other. Tell me, dear faithful xangan, what is something about you that gets on your nerves? While you muse, perhaps you might take an interest in what my answer would be. If not, simply stop reading here. After all, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you in any way and drive you away from my xanga forever.
What I hate about me:
I hate that I am so secretive. I just don't tell people a lot about myself. Everyone is on a need-to-know basis for me most of the time, and I have to feel a special connection or trust someone a lot to allow him to get to know me. It's not that I'm the kind of person who hides in a corner or anything, I'm extremely outgoing, but when I'm friends with someone I like to keep it so that I know everything about him and he knows nothing about me. I know why I've developed this trait, but I wish I could grow out of it or something.
That was the way it always had to be in my household. I told my parents as little as possible, because my dad would somehow blow everything out of proportion and make your life extremely miserable, and I couldn't tell my mom anything because all she does is blab to my dad. And my sisters were all tattle tales. So, it was my brother and me who were best friends, and we both concluded that the best way to deal with my temper-tantrum-throwing-child-father was to make everything seem like it was running smoothly, was boring, and tell him just enough information that so that a vague story might suffice and ease his constant suspicion and accusation. Now, the problem is, as it has seeped into my everyday relationships, that I always make a rational reason for it, why others don't really need to know a lot about me. I do it here on xanga too. In a
reply to one of
John's comments, I reasoned as to why I try to say very little about my life. Also, on the last post, he suggested I post a picture of myself, and I reasoned why I don't think I should. (The real reason is because I'm butt-ugly, but then he'd feel bad.)
What is something you hate about yourself but can't seem to change/get out of your system/whatever/anything?
The Word Game (13)